Life Lessons

I've been reflecting on the things that I've learned from my mother-in-law Janin this past week and a half - the things that I want to make sure are instilled in my children: Most importantly she was so dedicated to serving. She served and loved those that are hardest to love. I read this quote recently "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."-Mother Teresa. That's the key, she didn't judge. She wasn't blind either, she saw the quirks in all of us but she loved us because of/despite them.

Between her viewing and funeral it is estimated that around 1200 people came! I will never see anything like that again in my life. And the thing was, that she kept active, sincere relationships with all of those people. She had served each one of them and touched their lives profoundly. Many people flew in from out of state - and they weren't blood relatives. There were people that I judged harshly only to find out that Janin would make time every month to take them out to do something. She sent everyone birthday cards every year, I don't even do that with the people I care most about. The letters and emails we have received have so many memories of the things she did for people- things no one knew about.

She came one day every week to be with my kids (and she did this for Aaron's sisters too) so that she could know them and play with them but also so that we moms could get a little break. I appreciated that more than I could ever express to her. I was grateful that I could get out alone or on a date with Aaron without worry!

She fulfilled every church calling she had above and beyond what was "expected." She would often talk about preparing her nursery lesson days in advance and all of the fun activities she had put together for the kids. I believe she also went to the temple weekly and I know she was really excited about doing her genealogy. Aaron often talks about finding her on her knees in prayer and we have found notebook after notebook that she had filled out with notes from her scripture study.

She served her community in numerous ways. My parents remember her helping my dad on his mayoral campaign and how many hours she logged walking for him.

She was always found helping out in the schools too - she even signed my yearbook in high school because she was such a part of our lives there. I remember elections for homecoming queen our senior year, I was paired up with Janin (I was on student government) to go take ballets to some of the classrooms and I was so worried that Aaron would think I choose to be with his mom (these were days when we really didn't care too much for each other ) and now I think how silly!

She valued people and spending her time doing things that were lasting and uplifting. She was the least worldly person I have ever met. All of her clothes were purchased at DI or were hand-me-downs. Yet she took really good care of all that she had. She just didn't occupy herself with things that didn't matter. I cannot think of one single moment when I saw her sit back and relax, not even at Lake Powell. She told me once that she would set a timer at night before bed and she and Randy would watch a movie until the timer went off, then they would go to sleep. It would take them days to finish a movie! I laughed and said I couldn't handle the suspense - I now realize that she couldn't handle sitting there for that long to watch a whole movie.

I am so grateful that I married Aaron, not only because of our marriage and relationship but because of his family. Its funny because most people have 'something' to say about their mother-in-laws and I never did - and I'm not just saying that now. I am truly grateful for the example she has set for us to follow.